fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
