my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Randomize
