you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
