My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
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