last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
You pole danced in your parka.
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
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