She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
my nose is crying tears of wow.
you never un-have a 4some
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