Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
Randomize
