That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Randomize
