so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
