just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
