If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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