Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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