I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
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