just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
Randomize
