There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize