We're facebook friends in real life
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
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