Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
Randomize
