I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize