escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
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