Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
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