Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
