Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
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