I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
