so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
You have to summon your inner elephant
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
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