There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
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