just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
