i wish there were pregnant emoticons
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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