i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
How many fucks given?
0.12846
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
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