I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
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