he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
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