My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
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