Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
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