Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
I think I just shit out all my problems.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Randomize