I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
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