community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
