You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
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