just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
