i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
