Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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