In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
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