Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
