..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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