So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Randomize