Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
Randomize
