I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Randomize