Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
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