I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
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