I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
