ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize
