she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
Randomize
