WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
