I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
