just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
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