and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
