I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
You pole danced in your parka.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
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