lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Tell her she can't have a vagina
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Are we still banned from the library?
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
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