she kept yelling 'call me bella'
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Randomize
