get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize