I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
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