and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
im holly from the hills drunk
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
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