I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Randomize
