i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
