i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
Randomize
