first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
