dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize
