i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
Is her dick bigger than yours?
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
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