Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
Randomize
